


Inspiring Accusations

by Couyfish



Category: Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes
Genre: Avengers Family, Avengers Mansion, Bored Clint Barton, Fluff, Hijenks, Hot Weather, Humor, Light-Hearted, M/M, Misunderstandings, Multi, Steve Rogers and the 21st Century, Tabloids, Tony Stark Is Not Helping
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-12
Updated: 2020-07-16
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:00:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24137005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Couyfish/pseuds/Couyfish
Summary: Tony finds out that Clint may be in a relationship with the Hulk and has some concerns. Cap tries to be supportive.
Relationships: Bruce Banner/Clint Barton, Clint Barton & Hulk, Loki & Thor (Marvel), Steve Rogers & Tony Stark, Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Kudos: 28





	1. Chapter 1

“Avengers, assemble.”

Tony Stark’s voice snapped Hawkeye awake from his well-earned and much needed cat nap. Something in Tony’s tone of voice told Hawkwye that it REALLY wasn’t as important as falling back asleep. He and Hulk had been out on a very boring patrol. Not even the bad guys wanted to do anything with the damned heat of the day. It had been above the mid-90s all day, sapping what little energy Hawkeye had. 

The Hulk was as bored as he was, though the giant green man was unbothered by the heat, and had been entertaining himself by crushing a garden gnome into a fine powder. When Hawkeye peeked down, he could see that the gnome had been reduced to tiny pebbles that Hulk was crunching under his fingertips.

The two Avengers had walked their assigned section of the city for hours before finding a high perch at the top of a hotel. Wisely, Hawkeye had directed the Hulk AWAY from the glass skyscrapers and to a more industrial styled one with metal bars and lots of bolts.

Even at the top of a skyscraper, Hawkeye was more at ease when sitting on his big green friend’s shoulders than being beside him. It was convenient if they had to go leaping off of the building at a moment’s notice, too. 

Grumbling, the blond archer shifted, yawning and stretching an arm out to dangle off the Hulk’s head. He took a moment to clumsily get his Avenger’s indenticard out and tap the glowing arrows.

“…Now?” Hawkeye asked, a bit angrily. “Is the mansion under attack or something?”

“Okay,” Tony’s voice replied immediately, the irritation in his voice clear for the entire team to hear. “Danger or no, when I say that, you’re supposed to all come charging to my location. Right? Right. That’s how teams work.”

Hawkeye stared at the card, his eyes narrowing as he scowled.

“FINE,” he groaned, ending the call and shoving the card back into one of his many pockets. Slapping Hulk’s arm, Clint waved a hand in the general direction of the Avenger’s mansion. “Let’s go.”

Huffing, Hulk stood and leapt off the roof easily, plummeting them through the hot muggy air.

* * *

“This is ridiculous, Tony,” Captain America sighed, laying his shield on the big round table in the situation room. Sliding his mask back, he took a moment to try and straighten his hair. Even as a super human, the heat was pretty miserable. It wasn’t like he had a secret identity to protect, as everyone knew he was Steve Rogers, so he could have taken his sweaty mask OFF at some point. The blond man just hadn’t thought about it until then. His appearance was only a concern when the public was looking at him. As it was, the only person looking at him was Tony Stark.

The thin man crossed his arms, changing to frowning at the shield like it had somehow offended him. Tony had a newspaper—which was made from paper that changed magica…digitally—in one hand, the title of the cover article showing just the word ‘scandal.’ Steve was fairly certain that Tony was the only one who cared about what the public was assuming about the Avengers.

Surely their actions spoke more loudly than the tabloids?

“If they really are together, I think we should know about it.”

“I know that I’m not the man to say this, Tony,” Cap sighed, giving up on fixing his hair. “But who are we to tell them who they can be with? I thought homosexuals were normal in this day and age. We were fighting aliens a week ago. I feel like that—”

“Jeez, Cap,” Tony rolled his eyes, cringing at him. “You sound so old and…ugh. Don’t say homosexual. It’s so...clinical.” 

Quirking an eyebrow, Steve tried to think of a more polite term. Any shortened version of homosexual sounded much worse, in his opinion. It was hard enough to defend the new America without getting lost in all the terms that people used to hate each other. If Tony thought that ‘homosexual’ sounded old, than there was no way that ‘queer’ would be acceptable.

“Besides, the gay part isn’t the part I’m worried about!” Tony held up the newspaper. “Don’t you think Hawkeye’s dancing with death here? The guy’s not even super human. He’s a regular dude!”

Staring from the newspaper to Tony, Cap couldn’t help frowning harder. Pushing away the embarrassing idea, he focused on Tony’s face instead, at the amber colored eyes and the eye bags below them. Hopefully Tony hadn’t been losing sleep over this…

“If there really was an issue, you’d think Hawkeye would have been hurt by now. I think we should just leave them alone. It’s none of our business.”

“Oh yeah?” The other man scoffed, flipping frantically through the newspaper. After a second, he held it up for Steve to read. “THIS article has a picture!”

The blurry top-down view could have been anything.

“I don’t think that proves anything.”

“This article,” Tony flipped through the paper again, holding up an alarming picture toward Steve, “says that you and I are dating because you say my name a lot!”

“I don’t say your name a lot, Tony,” Cap chuckled, cutting himself off abruptly as he noticed that he HAD been saying ‘Tony’ a lot. Lost in thought, he shrugged a shoulder.

The picture had been clearly doctored. He would have remembered smooching Tony in the middle of a flower-covered archway. It was amazing how little value pictures had in modern time. Anything could be faked.

“What the hell do you want?” Came the short growl from Hawkeye as he came stomping into the situation room, Hulk in tow.

The idea of Hawkeye and Hulk being an item had never occurred to Steve. They seemed to be friends from what he could tell, though they certainly bickered. What couple didn’t on occasion, though? Perhaps it was more that Hawkeye was with Hulk’s softer side, the brilliant Bruce Banner.

Not that Bruce and Hulk were the same person. They certainly had different likes and dislikes—though both seemed to get along with Hawkeye. Perhaps…all three? There was a strange thought.

If there was any truth to THAT idea, then it must have been very difficult to balance. The moment Bruce’s heart rate increased, he’d change to the Hulk. There was a chance that Hawkeye and Bruce had never actually been together, then.

Steve didn’t know why, but the idea was a sad one. He sort of hoped that either it was just Hawkeye and Hulk that were in love or that they weren’t a couple at all. 

Wait, it would be really awkward for poor Bruce if he WASN’T part of their relationship… 

Tony’s voice pulled him from his thoughts.

“Well, hello sunshine,” Tony quipped back, slapping the newspaper down beside Cap’s shield and pointing to it accusingly. “I’d ask what you two have been up to, but the press answered that for me!”

Hawkeye’s gaze dropped to the newspaper briefly, than he snorted, nudging the Hulk playfully in the arm.

“You owe me five bucks, buddy. Told you they were together!”

“What?” The billionaire huffed, annoyed.

Deciding to save Tony, Steve stepped up beside him and turned a couple of pages of the paper to the article about Hulk and Hawkeye—instead of the one about Steve and Tony kissing.

Tony stared down at the newspaper, paling a shade as Steve flipped the pages. The muscular blond gave him an encouraging pat on the shoulder and stepped back.

Clearing his throat, Tony slapped his hand down just like before.

“You two are playing a really dangerous game,” Tony told them, looking from one face to the other. Hawkeye’s head was tipped as he was trying to read the article around Tony’s hand. “Hulk could KILL you by accident.”

“Huh?” Hawkeye asked, puzzled. “He could kill me anytime we go into a fight. He’s a big guy.”

“That’s when you’re on the clock, I’m talking about down time. As leader of the Avengers, I’m instating a anti-fraternization rule.” Tony nodded and then added, “Except for Pym and Wasp. They’re already together.”

“Anti… What? Why?” Hawkeye asked, tossing his hands up in a shrug. “Okay?”

“Okay,” Tony echoed, sitting back from the table. “What do you mean OKAY? If I ever catch you two doing the horizontal tango—you’re off the team!”

“WHAT?” The purple hooded Avenger laughed, glancing back up at the Hulk. “Are you SERIOUS? Come on, Tony! Like we’d ever…you know!”

“Then explain this picture!” Tony jabbed a finger at the newspaper again.

Hawkeye came over and looked more critically at the article, frowning and rubbing his neck. He gestured down to it slowly. 

“I was jumping over a hedge. It was cut in an elephant shape or something.” Jumping back, he balled his fists. “You seriously thought that Hulk and I were sleeping together? Are you CRAZY? Pfft!”

Tony ignored him, his nose practically pressed to the newspaper as he examined it.

Cap had to admit, it DID look like an elephant on second glance.

“I’m sorry, Clint,” Cap told Hawkeye, stepping up to the table side. “He’s barely slept in the last three days.”

“Yeah, uh huh. So, anti-fraternization includes you two, RIGHT?” Hawkeye snapped, flicking a hand in Steve’s direction.

Caught off guard by the accusation, Steve waved his hands quickly.

“No, no. Tony and I aren’t homo… Aren’t together,” he corrected himself, shaking his head slowly. “That article was also faked. Someone is very talented at manipulating photographs.”

“Sure, whatever,” Hawkeye grouched, spinning on his heel and storming out of the room. The Hulk followed after him, shaking his head.


	2. Chapter 2

What was it about the mortals and their silly accusations?

Loki flicked his finger, scrolling through the latest articles on his phone. It was such a hot miserable day that making mischief would have to wait until after he finished his iced coffee.

At first, taking over the world involved destroying the humans and their culture and turning them into a slave race. That had been done before, though. Now that the demi-god had spent a few weeks milling around on Midgard, he was changing his plans.

It was sort of fun to sit and people watch at coffee shops, or to date hopeless men and women. Loki had even stooped so low as to play cupid after he had dated both sexes and found a few that seemed to match.

It was all just to entertain himself until his actual plan happened, he thought reassuringly to himself as he scrolled the news again.

‘Loki and Thor, Brothers or Lovers?’ Red text blared on the screen. Quickly going past the title, Loki peeked around and found that the mortals were all caught up in their own business and were ignoring his handsome human form.

Scrolling back up, the green eyed man frowned at the article. It certainly made some outrageous claims about Thor and himself!

The article was accompanied by some sloppily zoomed and edited pictures, at convenient and suggestive angles.

A bit self conscious of how his bottom looked that close up, Loki sipped his coffee and scrolled through the article lazily. From her tone of voice, the author of the article seemed to favor the idea.

Tucking the phone into the pocket of his imaginary business suit, Loki sat back in his chair and watched the other cafe goers. 

Loki had dreamed of having all of Midgard’s attention on him and he had to wonder what would happen if he ever really kissed ANY of the Avengers publicly. Would the world be fascinated or repulsed? Either way, the internet would surely explode with articles about him. The world knew him to be a villain. His name was well-known, and while his past plans hadn’t worked out, the world still feared him. 

Tapping a finger lightly on the cute yellow polka dot table cloth, Loki finished his coffee. It would be easy to make an illusion of him and some other Avenger kissing. 

It just wasn’t a challenge that way.

The demi-god casually got up from his table, dropped his empty cup into a trash bin, and made his way in the direction of the Avengers mansion. On a dull day like this, someone must be home.

* * *

“Thanks for the backup in there! Jeez, can you believe those guys?” Hawkeye practically shouted, now safely back on the Hulk’s shoulder as they made their way back out into the city. Passersby cleared the way for the big green man.

The Hulk snorted, then shook his head without comment. 

Propping an elbow on Hulk’s head, Hawkeye sulked. Where were all the bad guys? Why was everything so PEACEFUL and QUIET? He needed someone to shoot at to take his mind off of the idea of him and Hulk making out!

The archer shook his head, baffled. What made them think that? Did Tony really believe that stupid tabloid?

Great, just great! Now he had THAT idea floating around in his head! Bruce was probably sitting inside Hulk’s mind, laughing his skinny butt off. 

Cap and Tony were right about him and the Hulk—them being together would be a STUPID idea. Idiotic and irrational and-and…kinda hot.

Shaking his head violently, Hawkeye busied himself with making sure the heads of all of his arrows were on snug, face flushing. He could blame the heat. It was hot and it was making his face flush! That was all!

* * *

The Avengers mansion was quiet. Loki paced the perimeter near the road, looking up at the bulky mansion. All he needed was one Avenger to appear. Then he’d turn into their love and they’d kiss, only he’d actually look like himself to everyone walking the street.

Glancing up and down the sidewalk, Loki frowned. There weren’t that many people around. Most seemed to have retreated to cooler places. The demi-god made sure that he was alone, than he summoned an ice cream cart across the street. Immediately, a trickle of people turned off the main road to surround the imaginary cart. They’d thank him later when the illusionary ice cream didn’t make them fat.

Pacing one more time, Loki sighed and began to look for a good hiding spot.

“Can I help you?”

Turning quickly, Loki spotted Tony Stark on the other side of the gate. The man was in leather sandals, red swim trunks and a white tank top. Clutched in one hand was a bright orange mixed drink with a little umbrella and his cell phone in the other. To top off his summer look, he had on a pair of huge gold rimmed mirror-lensed sunglasses.

Loki smiled as warmly as possible, moving up to the gate. If he asked to talk to Tony, the man would probably just point him to his assistant and leave, so something else.

“Good afternoon, Mister Stark. Is Clint Barton here?”

Clint Barton? Hawkeye? The most useless of the Avengers? Loki berated himself for not being able to think of his feet. He was, after all, wearing full armor in the blazing hot sun. The airy suit his persona was wearing was just an illusion.

“Uh, who’s asking?” Tony pressed, taking a long sip from his drink.

“Roger…Barton,” Loki lied, losing his steam. It was a game of his to see how poorly he could lie and still slip by the Avengers' notice. It was typically a lot easier when food was involved.

At hearing his fake name, Tony stopped drinking, pushing his sunglasses up with a thumb to stare Loki down.

“His husband?”

“No, cousin,” Loki told him quickly, quirking an eyebrow. Leaning a hand on the gate bars, he tipped his head curiously. “He hasn’t called lately. Is he alright?”

“Yup. He’s good. Thanks for coming,” Tony told him, turning and starting back toward the house.

“Wait!” Loki called after him, but the man ducked into the shade of the mansion and was gone.

* * *

Counting how many push ups he did was a waste of Captain America’s time. Watching the carpet as it almost brushed his nose, the big blond man was lost in thought.

Hawkeye had believed he and Tony were an item. Perhaps Clint was just being defensive and had said it to make Tony uncomfortable.

Since he had been revived, Cap hadn’t given romance much thought. The world was always ending, or there was some giant threat on the horizon—who had time to think about dating?

Besides, what was the point? Anyone Steve dated, he would outlive. Especially someone like Tony, who lived a very fast and dangerous lifestyle. The billionaire wasn’t queer, anyway. He was a known flirt and while he and Cap had one picture together in a newspaper, there were hundreds of pictures of Tony with random women.

Pausing with his arms extended, Steve stared at the carpet.

He’d just thought of dating Tony. They worked together well enough and sometimes it certainly felt like they were the parents of the Avengers.

Going back to his push ups, Cap shook his head to dislodge the idea. No matter how quiet today was, the Earth would need saving tomorrow. He couldn’t get distracted by Tony.

* * *

The sun was sinking below the horizon by the time the second round of Avengers came home to their mansion. Loki stood patiently waiting by his fake ice cream cart, eying Hawkeye as he slid off of the Hulk’s back.

Tony Stark had asked if ‘Roger Barton’ was Hawkeye’s husband. Was the man gay? Some groups on the internet thought so, as Loki discovered when he learned not to do internet searches for ‘Hulkeye.’

What did it matter? For once, Loki wanted to look like himself while he tricked one of them. It didn’t matter if they were married or involved.

As the sun had gone down, more people had begun to move around. There were even a few reporter types lingering by the mansion fence, eager for a chance to embarrass their heroes.

Pushing off of the wall near the cart, the demi-god crossed the street. As soon as they went inside, he’d have an illusion of one of the Avengers come out and give him a kiss in the yard. The most difficult part of the plan was deciding which Avenger would earn him the most attention.

Thor felt too obvious, but it was certainly what the people wanted. Hawkeye was a waste of his time and the Hulk was just unrealistic. There was no way that monster had a mind for romance.

That left Ant-Man and the Wasp—already seeing one another, so perhaps a tasty scandalous choice—Captain America, Black Panther, and Iron Man.

Wakanda was quite advanced and dangerous. The secretive kingdom was always a trouble spot on Loki’s map for world domination. Perhaps the handsome king wasn’t a good choice for such a prank. 

So, the first Avenger or the heartless playboy?


	3. Chapter 3

What a waste of a day, Bruce thought tiredly, balancing his dinner plate on one hand while he circled the couch to find an open spot. Why did the mansion only have two couches? Maybe it was because the Hulk kept throwing them at the TV when he got annoyed by commercials.

Clint was lounging on one end of the couch, his hood down, arms crossed over his chest…and a sandwich hanging out of his mouth. Stopping at the other end, Bruce blinked.

Did Clint fall asleep in the middle of dinner? That was dangerous, Bruce thought worriedly.

Sitting his plate down, careful not to dump his own sandwich or chips, the brown-haired man quietly stepped over to Clint. He gently grabbed the sandwich that Clint had hanging from his mouth.

The blond archer stirred in his sleep, turning and biting off a mouthful of sandwich as he pressed against the back of the couch.

“Oh, um, Clint, no,” Bruce stammered, dropping the sandwich aside and gripping his friend’s chin. “Clint, you’re going to choke! Spit it out!”

When Clint didn’t respond, Bruce took a moment to steady himself, listening to the thumping of his heart in his ears. Hulking out…would be very bad. Breathing deeply and reminding himself that Clint had probably fallen asleep with mouthfuls of food before, he shook Clint’s shoulder. 

“Hm?” The blond croaked, squinting up at Bruce through an eye. He chewed for a moment and scooted to sit up. “What?”

Bruce sighed, going back to pick up his plate before joining Clint on the couch. 

“You shouldn’t eat and sleep at the same time.” Taking a bite of his own sandwich, the scientist shook his head at his friend. Chewing more thoughtfully, Clint just gave him a nod.

“Were you awake earlier?” The archer asked, plucking his sandwich off of the couch.

“For the part about Tony and Cap being together, or about us being together? That elephant statue DOES look pretty graphic at that angle,” Bruce joked dryly.

“That makes the trunk…Ugh,” Clint grumbled, finishing off his sandwich. “Look, I don’t care what they think. I know Hulk and I are just buddies.”

Staring at him, Bruce didn’t comment. He’d spent enough time around Clint while in Hulk’s head to know that the archer and his big green pal had a crush on each other. Not that Hulk would be happy to hear it. He’d probably never tell Clint either.

“Are you?” Bruce asked, trying to sound neutral.

“Yes!” Came the immediately response from Clint. They exchanged a glance and Clint frowned, his face flushing a bit. “…Why? Did he say something?”

Bruce chuckled, shaking his head.

“You two seem like you’re more. If you’re worried about me being a third wheel, I promise I won’t be. I like you, too.”

“Like m-me too? You and-and Hulk both? Oh wow,” Clint stammered, slapping a hand to his head. “That’s uh…”

“Clint, it’s alright if you don’t—”

“No, no, no. I definitely like you…” The archer trailed off into a mumble, his face pink. Wordlessly, he scooted across the couch cushions and leaned to kiss Bruce’s cheek.

“Was that for me or for Hulk?” The brown-haired man smirked at him.

“Both of you,” Clint told him, laughing nervously.

—

The Avengers had been in and out of their home all day. Just when Loki thought he had a moment to make a clone come out of the mansion and kiss him, one of the Avengers would pass through.

The fake ice cream cart was still working to keep a crowd gathered. Even the reporters had given up their hiding spots to come over and get something cold to eat on occasion. While Loki thought he was handsome in his apron, he had better things to do than serve ice cream! Especially after a mortal had had the nerve to tell him that his scoop sizes were too small.

A whisper through the crowd caught Loki’s attention and he looked up in time to see his brother gliding down to land on the front steps of the mansion. Thor slipped his helmet off and greeted a couple of the reporters at the gate, smiling widely.

Leaving an illusion to tend the cart, Loki hurried over, donning a disguise that looked like a cheery college girl.

“Thor!” Loki said, waving a hand in greeting. Mixed in with the crowd, Thor didn’t pay him much attention. He was busy answering one of the reporters.

“Nay, my friend, Tony Stark is in excellent health. Pardon, I must return to my duties!” Placing his helmet back on his head, Thor spun Mjolnir and flew off, circling to land on the roof of the mansion.

Loki watched him go, lingering by the gate. The billionaire was home and the only other Avengers in the mansion were Thor and Captain America. If Loki was quick enough, he could have an image of Tony come outside. Stepping up to rest his hands on the gate, Loki whispered the spell to himself.

Across the yard, the mansion door appeared to open and out stepped Stark in a nice black suit.

— 

A cool shower had helped clear Steve’s head. As he stood by the window in his room, drying his hair, he sighed.

The whole city seemed to be up in arms over rumors, just like Tony had been. That doctored pictured that had appeared in the papers yesterday had really put a bee in their bonnets. There had been reporters around the mansion all day. Every time Cap came or went, the reporters would snap pictures of him. It all made him nervous after seeing what they could do with a couple of angled pictures.

He could only imagine the insanity that would happen if he and Tony actually tried anything like that. Not that they would. They had to worry about the team and keeping their reputation in the green.

Dropping the towel onto the bed, Cap flipped on his TV on his way to his dresser. That last fight in the sewers had left him smelling awful. It was kind of Thor to give him a chance to go home and shower off the filth.

“The heat wave is expected to continue late into next week,” the woman on the screen told him, smiling brightly. “Up next, the latest news on the Avengers scandal—”

Cap spun away from the dresser, frowning worriedly at the TV.

“After rumors of Tony Stark and Steve Rogers secretly tying the knot over the weekend, new sources are saying that the honeymoon is over! Tony Stark was spotted outside of the Avengers mansion this afternoon, locking lips with well-known evil doer Loki.”

As the pants he had been holding dropped to the floor, Cap couldn’t keep his mouth from hanging open. Did the reporters have any humanity left?

“While the recent pictures have been proved to be faked, it’s hard to fake a videos from so many different networks!”

The screen changed away from the pretty woman suddenly, showing the mansion gate. Tony was on the inside, leaning to kiss a black haired man on the outside. It was Loki!

Falling back to sit on the bed, Cap gawked at the screen as it changed to different angles of the same video. Even one that was zoomed out from a street camera.

Slowly, Steve blinked, trying to gather his thoughts. After everything they’d been through together, he hadn’t been Tony’s choice. Maybe that was why Tony had been so offended by the article? It wasn’t that he was insulted the press assumed he was queer—it was who they thought he was sweet on.

Cap stared at the screen, not hearing whatever the report lady had gone on to say. Tony was with Loki. That was all there was to it.


End file.
